Expat Confessional–I speak American English

Although a “positive outlook” is generally anathema to my sarcastic, self-deprecating inner voice, I’m making a concerted effort to look on the bright side. Yea for me! Way to stay upbeat! Good job, Laura.

With that in mind, I’m setting my sights for things I will remember to appreciate when we return to the United States.

I’m looking forward to speaking English*

I know, I know, what did I expect when living in a foreign country? I should have learned Serbian a looong time ago.

But, I’m looking forward specifically, to speaking English fluently with my kids. While I’ll be sad that their Serbian won’t thrive the way it does here, in the U.S. I’ll get their brains back, so-to-speak.

Currently, both kids play, speak and dream in Serbian. Yes, it’s true they argue in Serbian in their sleep. I always know when they’re having a dream about me, because the sleep-talk switches briefly to indignant English: No, Momma! Don’t take it!

I’m pretty sure both D and M think in Serbian.

What do I mean when I say, Get my kids’ brains back? Well, when I ask them about their day, it’s “It was good.” That’s it.

Aaaaand … then my kids continue speaking to each other in Serbian. At first I thought it was a “mommy thing,” as in “we’re too cool to tell our mom about our day.” Which is entirely possible. Like many moms, here I believed that I was cool and stylish, but apparently my children disagree, and they are not even in kindergarten yet.

Then strangers chit-chat with my kids and I hear long, deep descriptions on the merits of Barbie’s versus Moxie girls. Even my son (a true boy’s boy) has an opinion on the subject.

I watch as people they don’t really even like ask them about their day … and I hear my kids providing in-depth responses, replete with hand gestures and more than one gymnastics pose (see above, my kids are physical people) … and I have to think it’s a Serbian-English thing.

My theory is that when they finish preschool, their little brains are still processing everything … in Serbian. And, it’s just that much harder to summon the words in English.

Of course, after a couple of weeks back in the U.S., English will absorb their brains and I’ll be working double-time to keep their Serbian up-to-par. (I know, I know the grass is always greener …)

*  *  *  *  *

* I say “English,” because in the United States, we believe we speak English. I’d never really differentiated between British English and American English; I’d considered those from the U.K. simply to have a jaunty British accent.

However, as I have been made painfully aware here in Europe, most people do not consider me to speak English. Seriously. As in, (without malice or guile) saying

I speak English, and you’re not speaking English.

or

I heard you speaking something to your children, but I couldn’t understand it. You don’t sound like you’re speaking English, at all. Where are you from?

And my personal favorite, when I respond that I was born in the United States …

Oh, I get it. That’s what’s wrong. You speak American.