Jun 19 13
An Adoptee Story–To whom do we belong?
It's always heartening when a non-adoptee, with little-to-no "direct" connection to adoption, is open to learning, understanding and connecting. Such is the case with writer Monica Lee, author of The Percussionist's Wife, A Memoir of Sex, Crime & Betrayal.
Monica and I met through the various online memoir writer's network, and when she said she wanted to write a guest post about adoption themes in the novel, Butter, by Anne Panning, I was super excited to see her perspective.
Welcome, Read more [...]
Jun 17 13
Personal Space. It’s cramping my style.
I’m sure there have been dissertations written about culturally prescribed norms that dictate appropriate personal space with a society.
But this gal has had it up to here with people being all up in my grill.
Too close for comfort
Still, I have to wonder why. Is it generational? When we’re young, sharing a potty and playing “don’t cross the streams” we have no problem with closeness, sitting arm-to-arm next to another child whom we don’t know. Truly, cuddling and wrestling are Read more [...]
The death of a child is unfathomable.
The suicide of one's young adult child after his suffering through years of a mental illness? Awful beyond words. ... Painful to the point of, How do I get beyond this and not kill my own self? ... Devastating, like, I'll just live on anti-anxiety pills for the rest of my life.
Madeline Tasky Sharples's young adult son committed suicide after battling bipolar disorder. She survived, chronicling her experience in Leaving the Hall Light On, A Mother's Memoir Read more [...]
This is a letter for a friend who’s in pain, who’s experiencing an emotional/psychological/heart-breaking time.
It could also be called: Advice I wish I, myself, would listen to.
Dear Friend,
Please don’t be afraid of the emotions you’re having, or apologize to me (of all people) for feeling them.
You're sitting there feeling angry that you're angry; berating yourself for feeling sad. You're thinking you need to forgive, forget or at least take some positive action. But Read more [...]
Jun 10 13
Search Terms–And the WTF Award Goes To …
If you don’t have a blog, you may not realize that we bloggers meticulously track are OCD about our stats, wondering about the best tags, categories. We look at the click rate and click-throughs. Then there are the various search terms that led readers to click over to our blog.
Seriously. I could not make this stuff up.*
Some google search terms totally make sense, such as
“Laura Dennis blog”
and even popular ones like “Rita Ora Kosovo” and “Does Rita Ora Speak Serbian?”
then Read more [...]
During my early recovery following my bipolar breakdown in the early 2000s, my therapist emphasized that I needed to move on from my breakdown, not dwell in the details of the delusions. And rightly so. **
I listened at the time. But now, I find the far-fetched details of the delusions to be a fascinating topic. Where do these bananas ideas come from? Why does the mind go there? What do they mean?
In my view (and remember, I'm not a therapist), delusions are culturally prescribed, a Read more [...]
Talking to my five-year-old about adoption (read about it in Reclaiming my Adoption Narrative), reminded me of the 1843 Hans Christian Andersen tale, The Ugly Duckling.
I never really liked the story as a child, mostly because so many animals were down-right mean to that cute little "duckling"!
The truth is that unfortunately, many adoptees feel like outsiders, pretending to fit in not only with their family, but peers as well.
For me, without genetic mirroring, I had little idea who I was. Read more [...]
Just curious ...
Under what circumstances would it occur to you to physically relocate a vehicle that is impeding the progress of your own car?
I know, right? Not something I've sat around thinking about over coffee, either.
Only in Serbia.
The other day I came upon the following situation with regards to my black GMC:
What would you do?
Me, I honk. (how rude)
No response. Cue more Americanness: I honk again.
From the 2nd floor balcony across the street, some grandpa yells: Read more [...]
May 31 13
PTSD and Breaking the Cycle of Abuse
We're back to trauma and PTSD today.
If you wanna know the depths of a person's trauma/drama/abuse/crazy, or in my case why-she's-so-darn-messed-up ... you've gotta read her memoir. She was a great supporter of my memoir, and I'd been bugging her about the publication of hers.
Reaching, a memoir, now available on Amazon, shows how a legacy of abuse, neglect and down-right maliciousness can damage a child. You can read my review here.
It's only by what some would say "the grace Read more [...]
Good advice for adoptees facing a long, arduous, frustrating search. ... If you want to know your truth, then beyond a doubt you simply must keep going.
Winston Churchill and his adopted-out granddaughter, Rhonda Noonan have a lot in common--both had no tolerance for those who would stand in their way, and they knew the importance of staning in their truth.
In yesterday's How Adoption Created an American Churchill, Rhonda Noonan and I discussed the secondary rejection she experienced at Read more [...]
