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Sep 11 14

Trigger Happy: Adoptees Who Are Successful Even When Living Triggered – Part 2

by Laura
Have you ever been frustrated by someone who triggers you emotionally? Today Deanna and I are talking about adoption triggers, and how to live in a triggering world. If you missed Part 1, head over to Adoptee Restoration. Triggers don't have to always be triggers Laura: Yes! Identifying a trigger in real-time takes practice and skill—definitely a topic for another day. Man, the first time I was able pinpoint a trigger as it happened … I felt like the first pick for the dodge ball team. Read more [...]
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Aug 28 14

Announcement: “Adoption Therapy” is Now Available for Discounted Pre-order

by Laura
Adoption Therapy, Perspectives from Clients and Clinicians on Processing and Healing Post-Adoption Issues NOW available for DISCOUNTED pre-order ...  Pre-order the Paperback for $12.95 + shipping and save $3 (List price upon release will be $15.95 + shipping) Pre-order the Paperback for $12.95 + shipping and save $3 (List price upon release will be $15.95 + shipping)      * * *  Pre-order the Kindle e-book for $5.99 and save $2 Click Here (List Read more [...]
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Aug 18 14

Adoptee Memoirs—A Growing Genre [Or: Why We Need More] Part 1, A Conversation with Deanna Doss Shrodes

by Laura
“Oh, doesn’t every adoptee have a memoir to hawk these days? They’re simply popping up everywhere!” Laura—Have you heard anyone make this flippant comment? I have, and at first I was taken aback. I thought, well, I have a memoir, so I guess I should just shut-up about it, because people must be sick of hearing about them. Then I thought some more, and I started to get riled up. What the heck is wrong with the relatively recent proliferation of adoptee memoirs? They’re certainly Read more [...]
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May 30 14

Welcome to the Adoptionland Carnival, Next Stop: The End.

by Laura
This guest piece comes from Jodi Gibson Haywood, a fellow adoptee writer. I thought her post was simply amazing, and wanted to share it with you.   Dear Adoptee Contemplating Suicide, I have been where you are. That dark corridor with nothing but locked doors on both sides and no way out. You turn a corner hoping for an exit and only find yourself back where you started. You search for a light to guide you and it blinks out before you can reach it. You trust someone to lead you, but Read more [...]
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May 23 14

Reactive Attachment Disorder or Maternal Narcissism?

by Laura
Rescuing Julia Twice The title alone speaks volumes. I can’t help but be increasingly turned off by the insipid ramblings of White-privileged entitlement. Truly, it’s maddening. “Rescuing” calls to mind the conservative-Christian-inspired American-executed “rescue narrative” of adoption, recently documented in Kathryn Joyce’s book, The Child Catchers—Rescue, Trafficking and the New Gospel of Adoption. [Read Claudia D’Arcy’s important review here.] Next, there’s “Julia.” Early Read more [...]
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Mar 6 14

Announcing a New Writing Project: Adoption and Therapy

by Laura
Forthcoming in early Summer 2014: “Adoption Therapy, Perspectives from Clients and Clinicians on Processing and Healing Post-Adoption Issues”   Wait, wait! Before you get your panties in a bunch, I know … I KNOW how fraught such a project is … You may be thinking ... But Laura! Adoptees are not damaged! Not all adoptees need therapy! By constantly self-victimizing, we perpetuate our “adopted child-ness,” and keep others from giving us the rights we deserve! You’re Read more [...]
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Jan 30 14

Adoptive Parenting: Is Love Enough?

by Laura
Executive summary: No. At first I planned on writing a response to the recent conversation, Kristen Howerton Talks Transracial Adoption and Raising Black Children [INTERVIEW] I wanted title the post: “Dear Adoptive Mom: Some Advice for When Life Is Confusing” I planned to answer such confusing questions as What is so wrong about featuring prominently the photos of me and my beautiful blended transracially adoptive family? What is so wrong about talking about dealing with racism Read more [...]
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Jan 27 14

What Do Adoption Glasses Have To Do with Activism?

by Laura
Heard around the Internet this week: If I hear “primal wound therapy” one more time … I am so sick of adoptee self-victimization … Not everything is because of adoption … I get it, I really do.     Here's the reality of fog-emergence: Self-examination a vital part of the Adoption Fog Emergence Process. Without it, it is difficult—possibly impossible, for anyone (not "just" adoptees, first parents and adoptive parents) to work for social justice.   In Read more [...]
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Jan 16 14

NPRgate ~ I’m White. Am I Qualified to Discuss the Transracial Adoption Experience?

by Laura
White Privilege is hard for Whites to understand.   But I'm colorblind, I don't discriminate! But I have Black friends! But my kids' school is so diverse! But I thought we lived in a post-racial society! But I voted for Obama! And of course ... But I listen to NPR, I'm super progressive! Check out #NPRgate on Twitter; it's totally a thing (coined by the unflappable Deanna Doss Shrodes).    The White Experience We are blind to our own White Privilege. Read more [...]
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Jan 9 14

Laura Dennis: Adoption’s House Slave?

by Laura
The blowback from last Thursday’s post, Should Adoption Be Illegal?, was felt all the way in the mountains of Bulgaria.* And it wasn't from the New Year's fireworks. I had a vague idea that it might be a controversial post, but not in the way I thought. Then I was insinuated? implied? that I was doing the work of a house slave, calling for reform as opposed to abolition of adoption. At first, I was upset. It felt like I'd been insulted somehow, but wasn't exactly sure what it Read more [...]
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